Just lend me a soapbox already. >.>

I'm listening to: Yellowcard- Only One

Fuck. You know I don't care what I do nothing is ever good enough for my mother. I can't wear the right clothes, I'm not skinny enough, I'm not motivated enough, I don't date the right people, my friends aren't perfect, and I'm imature.

I'm just starting to get tired of her telling me how wrong I am. It's stressfull enough for me right now without her getting on to me about everything that makes me who I am. I just want to be able to be myself and not worry about her condeming it unjustly and with as much ignorance as she does.

I know I'm not perfect. My thighs are too big, I don't study hard enough in school and I'm into a few odd things. But I like it, that's what makes me who I am and I'm glad that at the heart of it all I have more moral fiber than the tan, straight haired, bleach blondes that my mom hopes for me to be. It just irks me that my own mom can't see past the surface of things to what I'm really like. But even then she's probably find even more wrong with my thoughts.

One day a few summers ago I was sitting in the kitchen with my aunt and grandma and mom as I sat reading the paper I commented on what BS all the talk of banning gay marriage was. This launched a campaign of bashing because if I support two consenting adults right to be together it must mean I'm a bad Christian. Which I'm not. I'm not afraid to be myself. I just feel stiffled every time I am. That's probably why I'm so quiet about my opinions now and days, unless I'm comfortable with someone I usually just keep it to myself.

Anyway that's enough of my introspective ranting for today. I'm sure that some of you can find enough psychological fodder in there for a whole paper on todays mother-daughter relationships and its effect on the psyche.

Flew over your coo-coo's nest.

Ashley

Updatu!

I'm listening to: Gabriel Mann- Okay Alone

Time for an update! Let's see I worked without much event Monday through Wednesday then on Thursday Jim came down. We went with Tony and Samantha downtown to eat at Coffee Underground. Our waiter was a complete stoner and forgot I ordered a drink then he like.. walked around the resturant for 20 minutes with Tony's visa. I found all this pretty amusing. After all that we went to the park, I never really noticed how many weird things there are there but it really is pretty at night, I should have taken some pictures but I didn't have my camera on me. =/

Friday we went to see Scary Movie 4 and hung out for the rest of the day till dinner when we went back downtown cause Jim was like.. obsessed with the mango smoothy's at Coffee Underground. Saturday we went to the mall where I got this kick ass replica of Naruto's forehead protector and some shirts and manga. I also got to see Ryan for the first time in like... 3 months and we helped him pick out some plushies before we left.















Sunday was Easter and Jim left early in the morning so I didn't get to talk to him before he left. But anyway I went to church, then to this lunch thing at the Westin Poinsette. After that Daniel wanted to hang out so we went to see The Benchwarmers which wasn't all that great. They basicly over sterotyped every geek fraction there is but it had it's moments so it was all good.

So yay, all caught up now.

I'll be yours for a day but in the end I'm just a bird.

Ashley

Two Cheap Beds and a Microwave

I'm listening to: The Cranberries- Dream

I got my passport today! It's beautiful, what with it's little embossed blue and gold front and my not so horrible photo inside. I'm utterly thrilled and proud to be the holder of one of these little booklets. It means for me, that not only is one of the main hurtles of my trip passed but more importantly it cements things. I'm going. And yes, that somewhat scares me but I think that's part of the fun in it.



Seems so weird thinking of how close it's started getting. It really doesn't feel all that long ago that I started looking for a hostel and bought my plane ticket. And what's funny is that I remember Fry saying that it was going to come on fast and he was right, it seems like time's just flown along this past year. Though I think I'll find that that last month is going to take forever, either that or it will fly with me being as busy as I'll be.

Even if my expectations for it have changed somewhat I'm glad it's close and that I'll get to go. I'm sure everyone's tired of hearing me talk about it but they should be warned it will only get worse when I'm actually there. XP

Sostenedor del pasaporte magnífico.

Ashley

Vacations are grounds for orgasms.

I'm listening to: Third Eye Blind- How's it Gonna Be

Today I wrote a postcard to a stranger.

Why? No clue. But it seemed like a very interesting thing to do. I got the person's address from postcardx I think when I leave for college I might add my name to the list, it's kind of cool to know that someone who doesn't know me is taking time to write me something. Not only that but I never get mail that isn't for a bill.

Anyway here's the card I made. I know tres 3rd grade, but it's cute.
































I also put in some little scraps of comics and such for fun. Anyway that was my little girl scout project for today!

Has more merits than you.

Ashley

Lost things mourn with bitter requiems.

I'm listening to: Jann Arden- Insensitive

Oh my ever loving god. I can't find my Merry and Pippin shirt ANYWHERE. I looked all over the house and giving it up for lost I decided to move my search online.. I found Frodo shirts, Legolos shirts even Aragon underware! But nowhere that I looked had even a hint of my very favorite hobbits. At one point I thought I had it... I was so close I could taste the cottony fabric. But it turned out that they were out of stock not to be sold again. The bitterness of that moment will run in my veins for weeks.

On some upside though I got in my Kangol hat today. I took photos. But for now you just get this one cause I don't have the GIF yet.















Has no clue what's going on.

Ashley